1. Believe (and no more Xanax or Valium or setting fire to Athens)
2. Faith is to _______ as Hellenism is to __________.
3. (Apples will only keep the doctors away if aimed correctly.)
4. Forget your troubles and write down your strengths in legible handwriting.
The Greek National Anthem might come in handy at this point. Shout, whisper, murmur, cry, or sing as you feel is appropriate.
5. Follow the yellow brick road. Or the path up to Delphi.
6. (No more anarchy, demonstrations, or protests.)
7. Listen to the Oracles, accept the prophecies, and begin your journey to Thisseio.
8. (Do not attack M. as much as you hate her.)
… Read the news …
10. Slay the dragon. Kill the minotaur. Murder the Cracken.
11. (Start paying off your debt.)
12. Annihilate the Hydra.
… Take responsibility for your actions …
20. Burn Troy. Save Helen.
21. Do not hide in any wooden horses.
22. (Throw away all apples.)
23. Forget the jealousy. Be truthful to Aphrodite.
… Exercise your civil rights and moral duties …
100. Steal the Golden Fleece.
101. (Laugh in Ares’ face.)
102. Hold Medusa’s head when you go to the bank.
103. Go for a stroll around Hades. (Read Cavafy, Elytis, Seferis, Solomos.)
… Start your morning with affirmations …
173. Wear the Golden Fleece like Jason (and fly over the Ellispontos).
174. (Bow your head when your mother puts agiasmos on your head)
… Realise the world owes you nothing …
208. Unbury Theseus’ bones.
209. Find Perseus.
210. (Smoke a cigarette and flirt with death.)
… Understand your place in this world …
250. (Allow your teeth to turn yellow and for your breath to smell.)
251. (Allow everyone to become disgusted with you.)
2522. Rise from Hades.
… Realise that you have been talking to yourself this whole time …
270. Be happy and finally marry Helen.
… (Fill this space with whatever you want) …
298. Understand that there is only one thing that you really know.
299. “I know one thing: that I know nothing.”
300. Achieve Immortality.
Thoughtfully, Yours 