And so I Must Go | Entropy, 2018

We’re all made of stories.

The kind where prologues take roots in the empty basements of hearts.

My story with her started when I tried to redeem myself for hurting you.

Please, Before You Go | Entropy, 2017

Let’s just say I found someone. Let’s just say they’re not you—let’s say they’re someone new.

I’ve had this low hum live inside my chest for the past month that’s slowly been inching up towards my throat. Sometimes it feels like a tremble, other times it’s a rumble—and, on rare occasions, it’s like a rabid beast trying to throttle its cage.

Goodbyes, good lies, and God lies | Entropy

Good things come in three—but so do bad things.

One: My grandmother passed away this summer while I was out in the Scottish wilderness—nine days after I turned 28.

Goodbyes, good lies, and God’s lies | An Excerpt

My grandmother passed away while I was out in the Scottish wilderness—when I was somewhere in the green among the hundreds of sheep in the northwest.

The signal was bad and I was on vacation, and I quickly realized there was no way I could get to an airport in time for the funeral. And my dad said, “it’s okay, it’s okay, you don’t have to, it’s okay.”

Your Holy Water: A Drowning

I often find myself writing about two things: you and God.

I find there is comfort in threes—for the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I have also found how hard it is to scrub away traces of you from my prayers.

When the darkness comes back | Vol. 1 Brooklyn

Suffering from anxiety and losing the one you love feels a lot like penance. And I can’t breathe; and Father, forgive me for I have sinned.

 

I used to slay my demon with my pen.

Used to exorcise him from the night, my mind, from my dreams, our bed; used to silence the hauntings that echoed in the catacombs of my brain with a touch of your hand.

An Interview with Bruce Bauman | Slice Magazine, 2016

Bruce Bauman’s second novel, Broken Sleep (Other Press, 2015), is one where rock music, politics, art, religion, and love all come crashing together in epic proportions. But more than that, it’s a book about family. Broken Sleep is what happens when a writer bridges the magic between their pen and their mind. It’s innovative, it’s heartbreaking, it’s beautiful, it’s emotional—it opens with a bang, and it’s one of the best books I’ve read this year.

When the darkness comes back | A draft

Suffering from anxiety and losing the one you love feels a lot like penance. And I can’t breathe; and please forgive me.

Draft 3.2 | An Excerpt

The darkness came first.

It came just as the train left Chancery Lane station, stopping before it reached St. Paul’s. In the tunnel we stayed, the morning rush to reach work before 9AM at its peak.

I’d Really Like to Stop Writing About You | Let’s Mend, September 2015

Things I want you to know

1. I used to fall asleep with your memory for a pillow every night, my heart handing out solutions to every single obstacle that prevented us from being together. But my soul, she stayed away. She knew I was the one who destroyed us. She knew the reason I kept writing was because being hurt so much, you just have to write about it. I just never thought about the way my words hurt you. I’m no Joan Didion, and these past 15 months were definitely not my Year of Magical Thinking. Time didn’t heal my heart or soul—it just kind of made them numb, making me feel like I’m in a dream and I’d really like to wake up now.